MASTER KIRBY
by SkylerOcon
Summary: Kirby goes insane and starts killing everybody.... To think all of this was started because of a bakery...
1. Chapter 1

It was a lovely day in smash mansion until…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DESTROYED MY ROOM?" screamed Kirby

"Ummm… I mean I destroyed it," replied Master Hand

"WELL WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE A BAKERY THEN?" questioned Kirby

"Maybe because I want one," replied Master Hand

"WELL THEN CHEW ON THIS (overused line, I know)!" Kirby shouted as he sucked up Master Hand. Then suddenly, Kirby's face turned white and his hands turned into gloves as he turned into MASTER KIRBY. (Why do I have his name in caps, because MASTER KIRBY is supposed to strike fear in people's hearts because his name is MASTER KIRBY and MASTER KIRBY deserves respect because his name is MASTER KIRBY)

**Ness's Room**

_"heh heh… I can't wait to see what Ness has in his diary," _thought Jigglypuff, as she opened his diary, _"hold on why would a guy need a diary?"_ The diary page was fully exposed as Jigglypuff read the weirdest thing ever:

**_Dear Diary,_** (British dudes voice reading for no apparent reason)

_**I want the world to know that I love Jigglypuff, she is so sexy, that's not fat, it's 100 muscle baby. Yeah it is, I know you want me Jigglypuff, I know you want me.**_

Jigglypuff stopped reading there for her mouth was to full of puke to continue.

"BUKA! HELP ME JIGGLYPUFF! KIRBY'S GONE INSANE!" yelled Ness as soon as he saw Jigglypuff in his room. "ummmm… why are you puking?"

"YOU PERVERT!" shouted up puffed up puffball who proceeded to slap Ness to death.

**Falcon's Room**

"BUKA! ONLY 58,648,213 POINTS TO GO UNTIL LEVEL 3.141592654-" Falcon was cut off in mid ummm…. Reciting of the value of pi.

"You gotta get out of here! Kirby has turned evil!" Shouted Samus as she held her gun up, prepared for anything.

"BUKA! I was just about to reach level 3.1415-"

"Shut up! Nobody cares about the value of pi, well maybe except for Master Hand, but Kirby ate him."

Samus and Falcon dashed out of the room, determined to find a good hiding spot.

**Peach's Room**

"BUKA! You killed Ness, he was so sexy!" Peach complained to Jigglypuff.

"Well he was such a pervert! He was writing things like I know you want me Jigglypuff"

"HE LIKED YOU! I WOULD STAB YOU IF MY UMBRELLA WASN'T TAKEN AWAY BY MY PAROL OFFICER!" Shouted an infuriated Peach

"BUKA! You gotta keep you're voice down, Kirby might here you!

"Fine, but I would wring your little neck if you even had a neck!"

Jiggypuff and Peach went find a good hiding spot.

**DK's room**

"Give me a Banana!" demanded a starving Mario.

"BUKA! The only bananas left are the golden bananas!" returned DK

"BUKA! EVEN BETTER, I CAN EAT THEM THEN SELL THE PEEL FOR TONS OF MONEY!" screamed Mario

Nana burst into the room, "You could at least be quiet! Kirby's gone insane as trying to eat us all!"

"BUKA! I knew that hot-air balloon was evil!" remarked Mario

"Yeah! I mean, why did he eat Master Hand?" asked DK

"His room was destroyed to build a bakery," told Nana

"COOL A BAKERY!" Shouted DK and Mario in unison.

DK and Mario ran off to find that bakery, Nana was smart and ran off to find a good hiding spot.

**Link's Room**

"ZEELLLLDDAAAAAAAAA! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO ON THAT CRUISE WITH ALL OF THE SMASHERS THAT AREN'T GOING TO APPEAR IN THIS STORY!" (maybe they went on the cruise, maybe I'm just to lazy to keep up with all of the smashers) complained Link

"Shut up Link!" said Pikachu in a quiet voice, "Kirby might here you, he's turned into a psychopath!"

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MOUSE, I'M GOING TO SQUISH YOU!"

Link crushed Pikachu who strangely enough made a squeaking noise when every single bone in his body was crushed. Link later admitted that it was just something that I typed bacause I didn't want to have to keep up with Pikachu also.

**The Bakery**

"BUKA! Kirby already ate all of the pie!" shouted Mario.

"BUKA! He also took all of the banana smoothies!" shouted DK

"Who drinks smoothies?" asked Mario.

"Buff sexy monkeys like me," informed DK

"YOU'RE NOT SEXY YOU FAT MONKEY!" Shouted Mario.

"Hey, don't hate me cause I'm sexy-full," said the not-so-cool-sounding DK

"BUKA! YOU SHALL DIE!" Mario thus decided that for nobody to pull a Jigglypuff and read what I originally put here, he would kill DK. Mario set DK on fire who also strangely enough, started singing, "I want to be a macho man, a macho macho man."

"YOU WILL FACE MY MASTER KIRBY-ISH WRATH," Shouted MASTER KIRBY as he drilled Mario into the ground who's skull apparently was filled with macaronis because that's what came out instead of blood.

**Okay…. REVIEW OR MASTER KIRBY SHALL MAKE MACARONIS COME OUT OF YOUR SKULL!**


	2. Chapter 2

**For those who haven't seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you wont get the black knight joke later down… Just letting people know.**

**Master Hands' Room**

"BUKA! He's got nice stuff…" said Jigglypuff.

"BUKA! He's got my umbrella!" shouted Peach, "I always wondered why my parole officer looked like he wore make-up…"

"BUKA! I was just about to reach level 3.1-" Falcon was cut off.

"BUKA! SHUT UP YOU GEEKY LOSER!" everybody except for Falcon shouted.

"ZZZEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAA!" shouted Link.

"Peach, you know Mario and DK are in the bakery," informed Nana.

"BUKA! Mario's just a fat, stupid tub of lard that couldn't get a better job than being a plumber because he kept on killing all his goomba classmates in college, and DK is a monkey that thinks he's sexy! That's just wrong!" yelled Peach.

"Maybe we should check on Mario," said Samus.

"BUKA! I'm still not at level-" Falcon was cutoff.

"SHUT UP!" everybody except for Falcon screamed.

"There's a level SHUT UP now? It must be new," said Falcon stupidly.

"Falcon, guess what!" exclaimed Samus.

"BUKA! I get a cookie!" screeched Falcon.

"Ummm… No… You do get the cheat code to immeadiatley reach level SHUT UP if you go to try and find DK and Mario," Samus lied.

"BUKA! I GET A COOKIE, I GET A COOKIE!" Falcon shouted as he ran down the hall.

"BUKA! He's a loser dumba-" Jigglypuff was cutoff in mid-sentence.

"This story is K+ rated so keep it that way!" shouted Nana.

"BUKA! What do you know?" asked Jigglypuff.

"I do know that I do have access to a bunny army of doom!" Shouted Nana in return.

"Then show me one!"

"(V) "

(O.o)

--( )--

/ \

"OMFG! HE DOES!"

"DON'T SAY OMFG! THE RANDOM WORD FOR THIS FIC IS BUKA!" interrupted Samus.

"Oh… right I mean BUKA! HE DOES!" Jigglypuff corrected.

"None shall pass," interrupted the black knight.

"BUKA! What the heck?" asked Peach.

"None shall pass," repeated the black knight.

"BUKA! Your from that Monty Python movie… To get to Monty Python land, you take a left at Disney road, and take I-10 east until you reach Sony City, then go straight from there," informed Peach.

"BUKA! I took a wrong turn again… I gotta tell my manager that these helmets are way to hard to see through," the black knight said as he rode his invisible horse down Disney road.

"BUKA! What was that for?" asked Nana.

"I dunno…." Samus's voice trailed off.

**Smash Mansion Hallway**

"COOKIE!" Falcon screamed as he drooled, "I LIKE COOKIE! COOKIE KOOCIE! COOKIE GUD 4 ME!"

"BUKA! I'm scared to kill you now!" shouted MASTER KIRBY.

"GIVE ME COOKIE!" complained Falcon.

"BUKA! SHUT UP!" yelled MASTER KIRBY.

"FACE MY COOKIE-ISH WRATH!" Falcon screamed as he pulled a radioactive Oreo from his pocket.

"BUKA! Since when do radioactive Oreos exist?" asked MASTER KIRBY.

"SINCE I GOTS ME'S A VAT O' TOXIC WASTE!" told Falcon.

"BUKA! Battle scenes from this author are way to long…. Must kill Falcon NOW!" MASTER KIRBY decided, "SUPER MILK ATTACK!"

Then, a giant pitcher of milk appeared and doused Falcon, who melted.

"BUKA! How did you know that milk is a cookies' one true weakness?" those were Falcon's dieing words.

"Stupid," MASTER KIRBY said as he spat at the remains of Falcon.

**Master Hand's Room**

"Please be dead, please be dead!" Peach prayed.

"BUKA! Even if Falcon was ummm….. special…… he was a smasher," interrupted Nana.

"BUKA! He was a freakin' dumba-" Peach returned.

"(V) "

(O.o)

--( )--

/ \

"Have mercy on my pitifull soul!" Peach shouted as she hid in a corner.

"Listen, we've gotta get out of this room," Samus interrupted.

"BUKA! I hear maniacal laughter!" Jigglypuff screamed.

"BUKA! Those evil people have to learn to be more quiet!" Nana told.

"Yeah…. RUN!" Samus and Jigglypuff screamed in unison.

Everybody ran out of the room quickly, barely avoiding the eyes of MASTER KIRBY!

**Oh no! What will happen to the four smashers left alive excluding the smashers on the cruise ship? WHAT WILL HAPPEN? Find out in the next chapter of, MASTER KIRBY! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh, My God! I forgot about Link, he's still alive… ah, well I'll just have him become mutilated in a horrible fashion!**

Peach was still hiding in a corner. Everybody forgot she was there, admit it you did to. Also, I need a story tie in so she is now afraid of bunnies.

**Flashbackness!1**

"Lalalalala!" Screeched the horrible sounding 7-year old Peach.

"Shut up, or I'll kick you're sorry princess butt!" shouted the magical talking bunny from happy land.

"What are you gonna do about it? I'm rich, I'll have my daddy sue you, you meanie!" The 7-year old Peach returned

"Your dad doesn't exist!" shouted the magical talking bunny from happy land, "He wasn't even made by Shigeru!" (for those who are reading this and don't know who Shigeru is stop reading and go burn in heck! Remember, PG rated)

"BUKA! He's right… BUKA! I also just figured out that I have to keep on singing for a plot tie in!" the 7-year old Peach realized, "Lalala-"

"BUKA! YOU SHALL DIE!" screamed the magical talking bunny from happy land as he threw an acorn at the 7-year old Peach and gave her a bruise.

"BUKA! IF MY DADDY EXISTED YOU WOULD BE DEAD!" shouted the 7-year old Peach.

**THE FLASHBACK IS OVER! Now read the real stuff that isn't something I put to increase my word count. Word word word word word word word word word!**

MASTER KIRBY walked into the room and saw Peach hiding and said, "Die, or we can have s-

"BUKA! This fic is PG rated!" Peach interrupted.

"Oh, right then… DIE!" MASTER KIRBY shouted as he took out Peach's umbrella and gored her causing black, gothic blood to come out, ruining her pink dress.

**Somewhere in Smash Mansion that I can't think of so I'm putting this here to increase my word count**

"We need a way out of here!" Shouted Samus!

"BUKA! Can't you read! Not even the author knows where we are!" Jigglypuff.

"BUKA! My helmet is to dark," Samus said. (Oh my gosh! The first sentence that actually does something. Hold on, every sentence does something… hahahaha! I'm cheating to increase my word count again!)

"I have a plan that involves more random deaths," Nana said.

"Vell, vat eez eet!" shouted Peach in her new Norwegian accent.

"I use my bunnies of doom to kill him!" Nana informed.

"ZZZEEEEELLLLDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Link cried.

"First, let's kill Link because the author's note at the begging of the story said that he was going to be mutilated," Jigglypuff inquired.

"Torture?" Peach asked as her Norwegian accent suddenly went away.

"Nah, to overused… How about me burn him!" said Nana.

"No way, talk about middle ages! How about I just shoot him," Samus said.

"No, there's already to much of that in Iraq (If any politician reading this agrees with the war continue reading the last two lines until the lightbulb comes on) How about we gouge his eyes out, force-feed them to him, carve his heart out with a spoon, and eat his intestines for desert," Jigglypuff said, being the first person (animal?) to make a political joke in one of my fics.

"BUKA! Intestines are yummy!" screamed everybody.

So Link was force fed his eyes (which he said had to much jelly and would've preferred to have had more of the squishy sensation) and got his heart got carved out with a spoon. Everybody also liked the intestines.

**Time skips to when they find Kirby because I can't think of anymore random comedy or ways to increase my word count. **

"(V)

(O.o)

--( )--

/ "(V)

(O.o)

--( )--

/ "(V)

(O.o)

--( )--

/ "(V)

(O.o)

--( )--

/ "(V)

(O.o)

--( )--

/ "(V)

(O.o)

--( )--

(O.o)

--( )--

/ "

"Your bunnies are being eaten… MWAHAHAHAHA!" shouted MASTER KIRBY as the bunnies started going up and down because my stupid computer wouldn't put then left and right.

"BUKA!" Shouted Nana.

MASTER KIRBY turned into KIRBY THE MASTER OF DEATH BUNNIES! AND HE KILLED EVERYBODY AND I'M TO LAZY TO TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK AND I'M USING RUN-ON SENTENCES.

Everybody died. Kirby ate there flesh and said it tasted like chicken.

_**Fin**_

**That's it for MASTER KIRBY go home now. I'm just typing this for an extra high word count. Also yayz for the people on Kirb's side… HAHAHAHA to the people on Nana's side. Sorry about the bunnies, my computers went screwy. Also politicians _SUCK!_**


End file.
